Respected Elders and Words of Wisdom

I was working in a lounge one sunny afternoon, and the usual suspects were in attendance.  Although young at heart, a few of these gentlemen are several years older than me, and they began to regail me with advice to be saved and then applied when I reach their age.

It has admittedly been almost a month since this happened, but I've enjoyed passing this advice along, and it always gets a great reaction.  For those of you who see me rarely (or may have never met me) I thought I'd finally commit this story to the digital record.  So.  Without further ado:

"When you get to be my age," he said with a merry smile, "you need to remember three things."

"First: never trust a fart.  There have been times when I thought I could sneak one out, and narrowly avoided an embarrassing emergency."

"Second: if there is a bathroom, attempt to take advantage of it."

"Third, and most important: No matter where you are or who you're with, never ever ignore an erection.  You might not get another one!"

Raucous laughter from the other gents accompanied each point along with exclamations of "True! So True!". Thanks for your words of wisdom, my friend!  It's great folks like you that let me love my job!